Updated: Jun 10
Stress is the quiet killer. The killer of dreams, the killer of hope, the killer of living a fulfilling life, the killer of your freedom.
We all know when Stress comes knocking on our door, the little twinge inside your gut, the nausea, the dread of facing another day, the head aches and fuzziness, the aches and pains, the thoughts that stop you from wanting to do life, the knowing that when you wake up the day will be another stressed filled not achieving anything kinda day.
Your mind is FULL, but stress hasn't finished with you yet. Stress has brought some friends to join the party. Stress would like to introduce you to anxiety and overwhelm. They are the free loaders that have no place in your space, but you welcome them because you don't yet understand the damage that stress can cause.
Your positive self holds up the torch lighting the way into the deeper sanctum of your home telling yourself that everything will be ok, your mind tells you 'Ive got this, I can handle it, I don't need anyone to help me'. You keep smiling at the world through fake lips. The party is ramping up now. Stress knows no boundaries, this is where they party inviting more of their friends. You try to hold onto your light but slowly and surely your getting drained, it's too hard to fight anymore. Your happy go lucky disposition is slipping away. Life is all to hard and stressy and overtime you join in with them. The blinds are shut your once lit space becomes dim as darkness takes over snuffing out your love, kindness and happiness pushing it even deeper into the back of your mind. Your fake smile is weakened and people see through it.
Stress has found it's new home and it's inviting more of it's kind. Its created its own unique toxic feelings that triggers and invites even more discomfort into your life, overwhelm and anxiety are having a great time partying in your house playing the songs of sadness, anger, dread, confusion and chaos. The ugly noise vibrates through to your very core and you are trapped in its trance.
Your mind can't stop the negative thoughts, confusion now resides where clarity once lived, your body is wracked with aches, pains where flexibility and wellness once resided, nausea and headaches resides where health and creativity once played. Your body and life feel drained because when stress parties it is going to drain the very life out of you, its home.
Your light is out and you seek solace in the darkness of avoicance and sleep. You have zero care factor not only about the outside world but also of your internal one. You push any signs of hope and happiness away, they don't live with you anymore. You blame them for your crappy life, they are the ones that started it all, they are the ones that turned your life to shit. You were so happy until someone broke up with you, your job became to hard, you got to many bills coming in, you lost your job.
Stress has warned you about being happy, it speaks to you everyday, don't get your hopes up, you know what happens when you fall in love, you know that being happy can only make life harder when it doesn't work out, you suck at life, stop trying, you have everything you need right here. We are here for you, we won't let you fall because you can't fall any further.
You find yourself down, down the bottom of a deep dark hole that you can't seem to find any escape from. Stress invites even more into your life and overwhelm and anxiety take an even harder grip. You are trapped, you can't see the light, its diminished. You can't find your way out and why would you? Nothing you try works right? Stress, anxiety and overwhelm have already become your new besties making you feel comfortable in their warmth and melancholy presence.
The numbness is deafening and stress, anxiety and overwhelm become your excuse for pushing everything that was ever good in your life even further away.
You feel like you've lost the battle and happiness is just to hard. So you stay where you are.
You stay in your pissy bed because it's to cold to get out of it. It's comfortable laying there right, it's warm even though you know that its a fucked place to be. Your comfort zone has shifted and you feel more comfortable at the Stress Party than you do outside of that zone.
Stress has already told you there is nothing out there for you, your perception has shifted and partied so hard with stress that that is all you know and if stress isn't present then there must be something wrong.
HOW FUCKED UP DOES THAT SOUND. Read this again, if stress isn't present there must be something wrong.... Really???
Well guess what, I see you down there and you know why I can see you? Because even though you have been partying hard with stress and it's mates overwhelm and anxiety the light within you still flickers.
There is still a part of you that knows there must be more, you look back at photos of your happy times and wonder where is that party on at. Your light has a little flicker as you sense and remember the feelings that are associated with the photo.
Synchronicity jumps in and all of a sudden you run into an old buddy you use to have a great time with or you see more things that use to make you feel happy, your light gets a little brighter.
THIS IS THE TIME, THIS IS THE CHANCE TO GO TO ANOTHER PARTY.
ARE YOU COMING?
Here is your invitation and what is required to leave stress at the door.
10 Ways to use your Stress in a positive way.
Stress is an energy that causes certain feelings. How you interpret that feeling determines how it will impact you.
Your life and the way you think about situations comes from your perception of the world which means that on any given day your thoughts and responses will be different.
If you can think crappy thoughts you can also think happy ones, if you have been at a stressy party for some time the hangover lasts a little longer.
The energy you feel around your solar plexus that seems to feel like stress, anxiety or overwhelm can sometimes be excitement. Learn to know the difference.
1. In order to use stress in a positive way you must first understand what causes you stress.
Make a list of what triggers your stress. If you are not sure keep a diary for a few days or a week. If you can beat stress to the party you will have a much better time.
2. Trust your body as your barometer.
Sometimes more often than not your body senses stressful situations before they occur. (your instinct) Your unconscious mind always knows what the triggers are. Take notes when you are stressed where you are feeling it in your body, how it is making you feel other than stressed. Write down everything you can about how this particular situation is making you feel. Once you know what the triggers are you can prepare yourself.
It's always good to know what strengths to take with you..
3. Take time to write a list of things that make you feel good.
Knowing what makes you feel good helps you decide who you are going to bring to the party. Always good to BYO.
4. Why Pre De-stress partying is so important.
Look at your list of feel goods and invite them to party with you before you go to or encounter stressy situations.
It's always best to fill yourself up with the good stuff.
5. Take your Time
Sit quietly and acknowledge your feelings take a moment to breathe deeply into your belly, pushing it out as you do so and as you exhale pull it toward your spine. Un clench your jaw drop your shoulders and say to yourself Today I let go of the unwarranted feelings within me. Today I slow down, today I know that I will be ok. Say other positive affirmations that promote wellness.
You can always count on yourself for the best pep talk.
6. Role Play
Visualise someone that inspires you, play through a scenario that stresses you out as that person and see how they would handle it. Hold onto the energy that builds up inside you. Get use to the feeling of strength and guidance.
It's always a good thing to take inspiration from others along the way.
7. Bob Down Turn around
Take your mind off the feeling. Bob down, touch the ground and dance the feelings away. Turn on your favorite music and let it take you to dance land.
Rehearsing your moves is always good to shake it off.
8. Change your thoughts & take control
Stress and its friends will always always always try to stop you from changing your thoughts. Cut out some really inspiring sayings, pictures of role models and places that make you smile and place them on a board where you can see them. Look at them often allow them to make you feel good. Then take control of the stress by creating solutions.
If you can't be someone or go anywhere at least you can imagine it.
9. Stop hanging out with Stress and its friends.
Leave the party. Look back at your notes and see what places or people were at the party and ask yourself if you really want to hang out with those people or be at those places.
Find your values and create some boundaries. Stick to them
10. Believe in yourself and know you are awesome.
When stress comes knocking at your door know that you don't have to invite it in. There are many people that would gladly give you stress. Know that you don't have to accept the invitation
Understanding that stressing doesn't change anything, YOU DO .
Getting to know your stress triggers and kicking them out before they invite anxiety and overwhelm to the party is the best protection you can ask for.
Find your values, create your boundaries and write down what causes your stress and start to find solutions. Burying your stress and not finding out more about why it is bothering you will only make it worse.
Go from Mindfull to Mindful. Download my free Mindfull to Mindful tools and start to kick stress to the kerb.
More hands on, you can get a copy of my Book Crappy Vs Happy in the store.
Want to go even deeper check out Your Peaceful Mind Path 1:1 sessions to love the life you live in.
Until then know that you've got this and you can get rid of the stress hangover, believe in yourself, take a deep breathe and choose to make change.
With love chrissy
the one that left the stress party to find a better way.