She woke up to the usual sink full of dishes, dirty clothes basket full to the brim and wondered when it would be something different. She dreamt of waking to a sparkling new home, a dishwasher and a not so full basket and she laughed.
Dream on she thought, this is as good as it gets.
She drove her hand into the cold cloudy soaking water removing the dinner plates from the night before. She hated the feel of it on her hands as she pulled out the plug. She sighed watching the water gurgle down the drain, it's really not that bad. She made her coffee and carried it along with her journal to her usual morning chair. What was she complaining about? She had everything she could possibly want. A warm and cozy home although in need of money spent on it, food in the fridge and most of all a healthy family. She began to reflect and be grateful for all that she did have, not what she didn’t.
Her mind was muddled again, she didn't know where to start in the homely jungle, she lay the dirty washing in colour coordinated piles, looked at the sullen blue sky and pondered how she could make it different. What did she really want?
She watched ol’Faithful sniffing around the garden. It was a huge block, she reminisced about the fun times, the bonfires, fireworks and parties this old home once hosted. Ol’faithful barked waiting for the returning gesture from neighboring dogs the crescendo finishing as quickly as it started. Then returning to the usual boundary check along the fence line sniffing to see what wild creature had been on her land before the slow ascent back up to the house. Ol'Faithful was 10 now her mind & body still as agile as a puppy, the stick she carried for her morning chew fest to long as usual to carry up the steps. She chewed a little off until it fitted. Just another mess to clean up.
She sighed sipping her warm coffee looking out into the only thing that gave her peace these days knowing in her heart that it could soon be taken from her. She leant back in her morning chair the washing machine whirling in the background, the reminder that she still had the thankless tasks ahead of her. She shut it out. She longed to sit for just a bit longer leaving all the nuisances behind as her broken mind began playing its habitual song, the same melody, the same words, sending her back into a space of sadness and depression.
She was tired. He worked hard and so did she but the bills worked harder. She thought about the red lined bank balance and wondered how much longer she could enjoy this peaceful space.
Clang, the washing machine banged to a halt disrupting the thought. She reluctantly rose to hang it out, her feet aching from being on them for hours the day before. She felt her tiredness as ol'Faithfuls barks brought her back to the washing line. It will dry quickly she thought as the gentle breeze danced through the tree tops, she stopped to listen, the rustling leaves echoing like waves on the ocean. She closed her eyes imagining herself laying on white sand her semi clad body absorbing the suns golden rays. She instantly felt the warmth through her dressing gown and decided to sit a little longer.
She watched herself gently apply sunscreen to her smooth freshly waxed legs, her bikini line nonexistent she smiled looking down to her freshly painted toe nails then out to the oceans horizon seeing ol'Faithful playing and splashing in the shore, she took a deep breath of seaside air looking along the beach, she saw no-one, she was there alone, the peacefulness melting through her like never before.
Was she dreaming or just creating a life in another dimension?
Ol'faithful jumped off the verandah bringing her back to her morning chair looking at the empty clothes line then like an old friend the familiar record started to play in her head. When would it end? When would she stop feeling guilty for just being? Just Sitting, just relaxing. Would this time ever come when there would be no worry, no forcing and not record?
She stood her feet loosening up as she grabbed her cup, left her morning chair and listened to the record.
She hung the freshly scented washing, the background mind music giving her guidance,put another load in, do the dishes, another load out, make the beds, no change the sheets, sweep the floors another load out, check the emails, pay those bills, there you go another load out. Would the song ever change? She screamed silently in her head.
She went to dress searching for the clothes that weren’t there, she took the lid off her clothes basket and there they were. The record played don't sit down you've got work to do, wash your clothes, hang them out, bring them in and fold them up, put them away and mop the floor. She was exhausted, she looked at the clock, where had her day gone.
She walked past the mirror seeing her reflection still in pajamas, dressing gown hood covering her depression, the record played. Don't worry you're okay, don't look just get dressed. She smiled, why would she not be okay, this was life? Right?
The front door creaked open and slammed shut, it was the next part of her day, she straightened her spine, pulled her back her shoulders and hugged him. She knew he was tired too, he hugged her back leaning into her kissing her tenderly on the cheek. It was the favourite part of her day.
They silently ate dinner, watched some TV and went to an unmade bed. The record played; you should have done that you had time, why didn’t you do it? It kept playing until sleep her only savior took over.
As night turned to day she rolled over to the empty cold space beside her. He had gone, his record playing the same song every morning.
She sighed as ol'faithful jumped onto the bed and licked her face, she always felt a little better when she was around. She got up aching feet as they touched the floor her soft slippers brining comfort. She ambled to the kitchen sink full of dishes, clothes basket full to the brim she wondered when it would be something different.
She made her favorite coconut coffee ol'faithful running to the familiar clinking of the spoon against the cup signaling that time again.
She picked up her journal and made her way to the morning chair the comforting part of her ritual. It wouldn't be long before the mind song would begin. She enjoyed the moment, ol'faithful’s good morning bark to the pack, pacing the boundary fence sniffing and rolling in whatever was there. She looked at the familiar view that screened all the way to the ocean, tiny ships anchored, portholes flickering from the sun’s reflection wondering how much longer she had here.
Then she heard it, the melody of the wind gently flowing through the leaves echoing waves on the ocean.
She took a sip of her coconut brew the warmth entering her body as she closed her eyes. She was there again, the beach, ol'faithful, the warmth as she lay back onto the softness of the towel staring up at the sullen blue sky as she fell into a peaceful sleep the sounds of the waves gently rolling onto the shoreline ol'faithful lying beside her.
She didn't know how long she had slept for listening to the oceans echoes. She slowly rolled onto her side and opened her eyes. She reached and touched the smoothness of his warm skin, he held her hand, ol'faithful licking her face. She lay in the comfort of his arms, the oceans record playing rhythmically in her head the scent of her familiar coconut coffee beside her. She sat up, the towel beneath her semi clad body all scrunched up in the sand. She grasped her coconut coffee and looked out to the ocean, glimmering diamonds bouncing between the waves, his gentle hand rubbing lotion tenderly onto her back, it was her favorite part of the day.
They turn and smile at eachother as she tells him about a dream that she had where the sink was always full and how she never had any clean clothes. They laughed as a new record played in their hearts Ol’faithful chasing the waves and sniffing the sand.
Dreaming in another Dimension